Luxury Calapan Subd House Near MALLS! L35k/Month - Fully Furnished!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving HEADFIRST into a review of (who, by the way, still owes me that free upgrade; I'm just saying…). This isn't your perfectly polished, robotic-sounding review. This is real talk, the kind you'd share with your best travel buddy over a questionable roadside coffee. Let's get down and dirty.
First Impressions & Getting Around (and the Utter Lack of Bike Parking – Seriously?)
The place looked promising online. Sparkling photos, whispered promises of "luxury"… you know the drill. Finding the actual entrance wasn't super intuitive, but the valet parking, at least, was slick. Bonus points! (Though, I am still baffled at the complete absence of bicycle parking. Seriously, guys? In this day and age? Zero. Zilch. Nada. Makes you wonder about their forward-thinking, doesn't it?). Airport transfer? Yep, they have it. Nice. But the taxi service? Prepare for potential gouging, as usual.
Accessibility: A Mixed Bag (And My Annoying Knees)
Right, so let's talk accessibility. Crucial. They do have facilities for Guests with disabilities, an elevator (thank GOODNESS - I am not getting any younger, and my knees tell the story!), and I think they mentioned wheelchair accessibility in some areas, but honestly, I'd want to double-check before booking if you rely on it. The details on specific rooms weren't as clear as I'd like, and the ramps looked good, but I didn't go the full wheelchair test. It's a work in progress.
Rooms: Comfortable, Mostly… (Except That Slightly Sketchy Carpet)
My room? Decent. Soundproofing was pretty good, especially appreciated considering the slightly overenthusiastic party going on downstairs. Air conditioning? Check. Blackout curtains? Double-check. Necessary. The bed was comfy, the linens clean. The little extras were nice – coffee/tea maker, complimentary bottled water (important!), bathrobes (always a win), and a mini-bar that tried to drain my bank account at first glance. The closet was large enough. However, that carpeting? Honestly, it felt a little dated, and I kept having the vague impression I could see crumbs from past guests… let's just say, I didn’t spend a lot of time barefoot. The bathroom was… fine. Basic. Needed a little sprucing up, tbh. They did have a hairdryer (phew!), an in-room safe (always a wise move), and most importantly, the Wi-Fi [free] worked like a charm. And that, my friends, is gold.
Internet: Speed Demons Needed (and the LAN… Do People Still Use That?)
Speaking of Wi-Fi… Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Praise be! And in the public areas, too. The speed? Mostly good. Fine for streaming, though I wouldn't rely on it for a critical Zoom meeting. (And can someone tell me, genuinely, what anyone uses Internet [LAN] for these days? Is that still a thing?).
Food Glorious Food! (and the Endless Buffet That Almost Broke Me)
Okay, here’s where things get interesting. The dining experience? A roller coaster. A la carte in the restaurant was good. And the Asian breakfast was a solid start to the day. They also had a Western breakfast. But that buffet? Oh, the buffet. Endless rows of…things. Breakfast [buffet] was available, alright. Too available. So many options, I almost short-circuited. (Pro-tip: Go slow. Pace yourself. Don't be that person who piles their plate sky-high on the first pass.) They had a coffee shop, which was crucial for my caffeine needs. Poolside bar was great for cocktails and lunch. Coffee/tea in restaurant. Snack bar. Desserts. Happy hour. See, they have EVERYTHING. It can be overwhelming, and the quality varied. But, if you can master the buffet, you will leave in full comfort.
On-site Restaurants/Lounges: Plenty of Options, if You're Willing to Explore
Plenty of dining options, from more casual snack bars to the more formal restaurants. I liked the variety! The pool side bar was convenient.
For the Kids (and the Babysitting Service That Made Me Jealous)
I didn't travel with kids, but I appreciated the existence of kids facilities.
Things to Do, Ways to Relax (and the Pool with a View That Kinda Underwhelmed)
Okay, the spa! The spa was a solid offering, for the serious spa-goers! They have a Body scrub, Body wrap, Fitness center, Foot bath, Gym/fitness and even a Sauna. The massage was good. The steamroom? Not bad either. The Swimming pool [outdoor] was ok. And there's a "Pool with view"… which, honestly, was less breathtaking than the photos suggested. Still, a nice place to chill.
The Little Things: Cleanliness, Safety, and the Weirdly Obsessive Sanitizing
Cleanliness and safety were taken seriously. They used Anti-viral cleaning products, had hand sanitizer everywhere, and really hammered home this whole Covid thing. Individually-wrapped food options, physical distancing, and staff trained in safety protocol. And they're cleaning the rooms pretty thoroughly. This is definitely a plus.
Services and Conveniences: All Over the Place
Daily housekeeping? Check. Laundry service, luggage storage, and a doorman were all convenient. Cash withdrawal, currency exchange, and even a gift shop. They do have a lot of services! They had a concierge, too, which came in handy when I needed help figuring out local transportation.
The Offer: Your Escape Awaits (But Pack Your Patience)
Okay, buckle up for the sales pitch! But, for the love of all that is holy, book through their site!
If you're looking for a hotel that offers a ton of options you can't go wrong. The food, the options, the service - you can have a good time, easily. You will also find great comfort in the cleanliness and safety.
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But remember: Not everything is perfect. Be prepared for occasional imperfections, minor inconveniences, and a buffet that might just defeat you.
So, are you in? Because for all its quirks, the is an adventure. Book your stay today and get ready for a trip you won't soon forget!
Escape to Bliss: Battle Ground's Best Western Plus Awaits!
Okay, buckle up buttercup, because this isn't your grandma's meticulously organized itinerary. We're going FULL-ON chaotic travel journal, Calapan-style. Prepare for the ride of your life… if you can actually find the right tricycle, that is.
CALAPAN CHAOS: A Totally Unprofessional Travel Log (and Probably a Few Tears Along the Way)
Location: Calapan Furnished House in a Subd near MALLS L35, Philippines (Let's be honest, the "near MALLS" part is probably… debatable. Everything's "near malls" here. The reality is always a slightly sweaty walk away.)
Dates: Technically, I'm shooting for a week, but let's be real, this could morph into a month-long existential crisis.
Day 1: Arrival and the "Holy Crap, Did I Pack Enough Insect Repellent?" Moment
- Morning (8:00 AM - 10:00 AM): Landed in Manila. Airport chaos. Seriously, WHY are there so many people?! And how does everyone know where they're going except for me?? Managed to survive the taxi surge pricing (felt like getting mugged, but hey, at least I didn't get stabbed?). Onward to the van bound to Calapan, which, fingers crossed, actually exists.
- Afternoon (12:00 PM - 2:00 PM): Got to the actual destination. The house itself? Pretty decent. Air con is a lifesaver. The fact that the Wifi code is literally "PASSWORD123" fills me with a deep sense of foreboding about the future. Did a quick grocery run at a nearby "convenience store" (read: heavily stocked mom-and-pop shop). Bought an entire bag of mangoes (because, Philippines) and a questionable brand of instant noodles. Already questioning my life choices.
- Late Afternoon/Evening (5:00 PM - ???): Okay, the sun is setting. And the mosquitos are ATTACKING. I swear, they're the size of tiny, bloodthirsty dragons. Slathered myself in the strongest insect repellent I could find (smells like a chemical plant), and I'm still getting bitten. The first night is for exploring the local market, but getting lost is half the fun of any travel, right? The market is loud and exciting; even finding that old dried fish stands in the air. Dinner at a small "kainan," (local eatery) where I ordered the adobo. The waitstaff spoke the local languanges (Tagalog and Mangyan) which made my experience very interesting.
Day 2: The Tricycle Trials and the Quest for Coffee
- Morning (8:00 AM - 10 AM): The internet is slow as molasses. So, I'm taking the plunge. I'm venturing out into the wild world of Calapan. First objective: find a damn decent coffee. This is a matter of life and death.
- Mid-Morning (10:00 AM - 12:00 PM): The tricycle situation. Oh, the tricycle situation. It's like a moving, motorized game of Tetris. Cramming myself (and my luggage, because apparently everywhere is far in Calapan) into what seems like a human sardine can. The streets are bumpy, the drivers are fearless, and I'm pretty sure my organs are rearranging themselves. Managed to find a tiny cafe two blocks from my house that is very cool in terms of decor. Ordered a coffee, which was… passable. But I'm not giving up.
- Afternoon (1:00 PM - 4:00 PM): Explored the Calapan City Plaza. It's hot. The people are friendly. Watched some kids playing basketball. Felt a pang of nostalgia for my own childhood. Contemplating how much more difficult my life could have been. Decided the mangoes are actually the MVP of this trip.
- Evening (6:00 PM - 9:00 PM): Hit up the "mall" (emphasis on the air quotes). It's not exactly a shopper's paradise, but it's got air conditioning, and that's enough to win me over. Ate at a fast-food place. The fried chicken was… surprisingly good. Feeling a little homesick, watching Filipino families enjoying their meal.
Day 3: The Beach, the Bites, and a Bout of Existential Dread
Morning (9:00 AM - 12:00 PM): Decided to be a responsible tourist and go to the beach! Found out that the beach is really nice for pictures. The sand is warm, the water is clear, and the world suddenly feels less… oppressive. Except, then I got bitten. Again. This time, by something that felt like a mini-scorpion. Swearing is totally, completely, justifiable in this instance.
Afternoon (1:00 PM - 4:00 PM): Trying to get over that little scare. I decided that a few days of relaxation could do me some good. I sat on a bench and observed the local street vendors moving back and forth. While sitting on the bench I saw a dog. I have a phobia of wild dogs, so I decided to move my seat a little farther away from the animal.
Evening (6:00 PM - 9:00 PM): Back to the house. Did not go to the beach again. Contemplating ordering pizza. The wifi is still garbage, making streaming a distant dream. Maybe I should get off my phone.
Day 4: Food, Freedom, and Floundering
- Morning (9:00 AM - 11:00 AM): Woke up craving something other than instant noodles. Found a local eatery with the best "silog" (garlic rice, egg, and meat) I've ever had. The owner was so nice, I almost cried. The food is great until you feel the pain of a bad stomach
- Afternoon (1:00 PM - 4:00 PM): Decided to attempt some writing. The words just wouldn't flow. Ended up staring into space, trying to find meaning in the fact that the air conditioner is making a slightly concerning rattling noise.
- Evening (7:00 PM - 9:00 PM): Found a karaoke bar. It was a very loud, slightly smoky, and absolutely hilarious experience. Tried to sing. Failed miserably. But who cares? Everybody else was terrible too.
Day 5: The Island Adventure That (Probably) Won't Happen.
- Morning (9:00 AM - 11:00 AM): Had this grand idea of taking a boat to one of the nearby islands. The reality? The logistics are baffling. The boat schedules are unpredictable. The prices are confusing.
- Afternoon (1:00 PM - 3:00 PM): Gave up on the island. Went back to the "mall" (again). Bought some snacks. Started reading a book.
- Evening (6:00 PM - 9:00 PM): Back to the house. Decided to write to my family about the trip and share my experiences.
Day 6: The Art of Doing Absolutely Nothing (and Maybe Regretting It?)
- Morning (9:00 AM - 12:00 PM): Today's agenda: literally nothing. Slept late. Watched some terrible Filipino TV. Ate mangoes in bed. The epitome of existential laziness.
- Afternoon (1:00 PM - 4:00 PM): Started feeling guilty about doing nothing. Considered going for a walk. Then decided the couch was more appealing. Regret washing over me slowly but surely.
- Evening (7:00 PM - 9:00 PM): Ordered pizza. (The internet finally worked!) Binged a show I knew I shouldn't be watching, but let's be honest, sometimes you just need to switch your brain off.
Day 7: Departure (and the Bitter Sweetness of Freedom)
- Morning (7:00 AM - 10:00 AM): Pack. Say goodbye to the furnished house. Say goodbye to Calapan. The reality is that I'm going to miss this place a little. Saying goodbye is always hard even to the bad places.
- Afternoon (12:00 PM - 2:00 PM): Arrive at the airport. Flight delayed. Naturally. Embrace the chaos.
- Evening (6:00 PM - ???): Finally, on the plane. So much for a neatly structured trip. This trip was so amazing. Filled with moments of chaos, frustration, joy, and a whole lot of mangoes. Would I do it again? Probably. In a heartbeat. But next time, I'm bringing an industrial-strength mosquito net. And maybe a therapist.
Final Thoughts:
Calapan, you beautiful, chaotic, hot, buggy, and utterly unforgettable place. I'm leaving with a sunburn, a hundred mosquito bites, and a heart full of something. Don't be surprised if I come back.
Escape to Crystal Lake: Your Perfect Algonquin Getaway at Comfort Inn!
So... what *is* this FAQ about, anyway? (Because I'm still figuring that out myself sometimes...)
Okay, okay, good question! And honestly? It's about... well, *me*. And my *experiences* with... things. You know? Life. The universe. Everything. But more specifically, how I perceive things, like, *things* like... oh, you get the idea. It's about navigating the chaos, the joys, the utter facepalms life throws your way. Think of it as a slightly deranged, heavily caffeinated tour guide through my brain. I'll probably get sidetracked. Often. And maybe share way too much. Don’t worry, I'll try to stay on track... ish.
Why this format? FAQs are so… blah.
You're right! FAQs *are* blah. That's why I'm trying to inject some *life* into them. Think of it as… FAQ meets therapy sesh. I'm answering hypothetical questions (and probably a few very real ones, eventually), but the answers are filtered through the kaleidoscope of my own, well, *stuff*. Plus, I like a good structure to cling to. Helps me not wander *too* far into the weeds… sometimes.
What's the hardest part about, well, *being* you?
Oh, geez. Where do I even *begin*? I think the hardest part is constant self-doubt. That little gremlin whispering in my ear, doing his best to ruin everything… all the time. He's the king of second-guessing, the champion of catastrophizing. Seriously, I make a cup of coffee and he’s already prepping a whole screenplay about how I shouldn't drink caffeine until I have a heart attack. It's exhausting! But, you know, I’m working on it. Therapy helps. So does chocolate. And sometimes, just the sheer absurdity of it all makes me laugh.
What's something you're genuinely proud of?
Hmmm… that's a good one. Probably that I can finally admit I get things very, very wrong all of the time. It took me a while to get to the point where I can look at myself and say "Okay, I messed that up. Big time." And actually *learn* from it. Still a work in progress, of course. But I'm proud of the progress. For the longest time, I was terrified of failure. Now? It's like, "Oh, here we go again, what new and interesting ways have I managed to screw this up?" And honestly, a good dose of self-deprecating humor goes a long way.
Okay, let's talk about *specific* experiences. How do you deal with… say… people who deliberately annoy you?
Oh, *those* delightful individuals? Man, that's a tough one. I used to simmer. Just seethe. I'd build up these elaborate fantasy revenge scenarios in my head where I’d… well, let’s just say they wouldn’t be having a good day. Then, I realized that wasn't healthy AT ALL. Like, it was actually tearing me apart inside. So, I’ve attempted to *evolve*. Now, I *try* to remember everyone struggles with something. I try to take a deep breath. And I *try* to maybe, just maybe, be the bigger person. But, honestly? Sometimes, when the urge to say something truly terrible is too strong, I just walk away. I have a friend who always says, "Not my circus, not my monkeys.” And you know what? That's been helping.
What about relationships? Romantic ones? Spill the tea!
Alright, alright, fine! The tea! I’ve had my share of relationship *trials*. A major roller coaster! Let’s just say I'm a lover and a fighter, sometimes simultaneously. One time, there was this guy, let’s call him… “Chad.” Chad was… well, he was *Chad*. Handsome, charming, the whole shebang. And totally wrong for me. We dated for like, six months, and looking back? Disaster. The biggest one was when Chad got ridiculously mad about some stupid thing I did. After the shouting, he called me “histrionic,” and walked out. And you know what? Looking back, it hurt like hell, the way he just dismissed me. But... it did force me to stop for a second. Am I histrionic? Maybe? Probably. Okay, I am. But I’m also a human being with feelings. It wasn’t the *word* that hurt, it was the dismissal. It was lonely. I spent a lot of time after Chad wondering if I was "too much." It took therapy, and a lot of wine, but I'm slowly getting to the point where I'm okay with being "too much." I want someone who wants ALL of me, the good, the bad, and the very, very dramatic. Chad wasn’t it.
Are there any things you're *really* passionate about?
Oh, *absolutely*! Aside from the obvious (chocolate, fluffy cats), I'm super passionate about… well, *stories*. Books, movies, even the crazy things people say to me on the bus. I love to read a good story. I love to write a good story! The way they can transport you, make you feel things, make you think. That's the good stuff. I also get jazzed about standing up for what's right. And defending the underdog. It's not always easy, and you get knocked down, but it's always worth it.
So, what's next? What are you hoping for?
Well, that's the million-dollar question, isn't it? Right now? I'm hoping for a solid cup of coffee that doesn't taste like burnt rubber. And I’m hoping to keep learning, keep growing, and keep trying to be a slightly less-flawed version of myself every day. I want to be kinder. I want to be braver. I want to laugh until my sides hurt. And, maybe, just *maybe*, I want to find someone who thinks my brand of weird is… well, not *too* weird. And who can handle the constant, slightly manic energy. And who will always, always make sure I have chocolate. That's a non-negotiable.
