Gatwick Airport? Luxury Stay at Unbeatable Prices! (Holiday Inn Express)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into a messy, wonderful, and utterly human review of this hotel. Forget the corporate jargon and perfectly polished prose; we're going RAW. Let's get dirty, shall we?
First things first, this review is for YOU, the discerning traveler who craves a genuine experience, not just a perfectly curated Instagram shot. So, let's get real about this place.
Accessibility: A Mixed Bag, Honey.
Okay, let's be brutally honest. While the listing says "Facilities for disabled guests," it’s essential to dig a little deeper. Do they really understand accessibility? The devil is in the details. I'd call ahead, ask SPECIFIC questions about ramp widths, elevator access, and bathroom configurations – and if you get a vague answer, be wary. This is critical. Because trust me, a ‘maybe’ in accessibility is a ‘definitely not’ in practice. I'm saying this from experience, being stuck in a toilet that wasn't wheelchair accessible. No one wants that memory.
On-Site Eats & Lounges: Fuelling the Fun (and the Fat!)
Now, for the good stuff!
- Restaurants: A la carte, Buffet, International, Asian, Western – you've got choices, baby! I love choices. Though, I did find the buffet to be a bit… chaotic. Imagine a food war, with toddlers as the combatants and mashed potatoes as the ammunition. Hilarious, but slightly terrifying. Still, great options!
- Bars & Lounges: Poolside bar? YES. Happy Hour? DOUBLE YES. You can't go wrong!
Internet: Wi-Fi Heaven (and a Tiny Hell, Maybe?)
- Free Wi-Fi in All Rooms!: Praise the tech gods! This is a MUST-HAVE in my book.
- Internet [LAN]: Remember LAN? Apparently, it still exists. For some of us, that's a blast from the past. Just in case you have a lot of old tech or if the Wi-Fi dies (as it does).
- Wi-Fi in Public Areas: Good. Very good. Because let's be honest, sometimes you need to escape to the lobby to sneak a chat.
Things to Do, Ways to Relax: From Bliss to Blah (and Everything in Between)
- Spa Vibes: Spa, Sauna, Steamroom, Body scrub, Body wrap, Massage… This is where I’m in my happy place, honestly. I actually had the best massage of my LIFE here, like a therapist who understood my knotted-up stress and just melted it away. It was pure, unadulterated bliss. I almost cried.
- Fitness Center & Pool with a View: Yeah, yeah, I get it. Gyms are important for some of us. And a pool overlooking something is always a plus. I can't swim, though. So good in theory but, meh, not for me.
- Swimming Pool [Outdoor]: It’s there, which is a plus!
- Getting Around: Airport transfer and Car park? A blessing.
Cleanliness & Safety: Because We're Living in the Apocalypse (Almost)
- Anti-viral cleaning products, Room Sanitization, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items…: This has been paramount recently, they are following all the correct protocol, and that's reassuring.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking:
- Breakfast?: Buffet, Asian, Western, Room service – options abound! The take-away service is wonderful, and the buffet is a must if you are up to the food war.
- Coffee/tea: Essential for life, in my honest opinion.
- Poolside bar: Fantastic!
Services and Conveniences: Your Personal Concierge to Paradise?
- Concierge: Always a lifesaver – they can recommend bars, restaurants, and everything in between. I'm convinced they have connections beyond your imagination!
- Daily housekeeping: I’m a slob; this is a godsend.
- Meeting/banquet facilities, and more: For the corporate slaves, the hotel has it all.
For the Kids: Are the Little Monsters Welcome?
- Babysitting service, Kids facilities, Kids meal: Good for parents who want to enjoy the world.
Available in All Rooms: Your Home Away From Home (Almost)
- Beds: Comfortable? The bedding was crisp, and clean, and I wanted to dive in and never come out again.
- Bathroom: Big, clean, great quality water, and lots of space. No complaints!
- Wi-Fi [free] Thank GOODNESS!
The Messy Bits, The Imperfections, The Honest Truth
Okay, let’s be honest. No hotel is perfect. I did find some things, and I'm going to tell you all the ugly bits.
- The Noise: Depending on your room, you might hear… things. The sounds of the city, perhaps, the occasional enthusiastic couple, etc. Earplugs are your friend.
- The Staff: Some were amazing, some were a little… overwhelmed. It really does seem to depend on the day and the person. I'm not going to sit here and say everyone was perfect.
- The "Over-the-Top" Touch: Maybe (just maybe) the room decorations felt a little…much. Less is more, sometimes, but hey, I'd rather have too much, than too little.
The Verdict:
Is this hotel perfect? Nope. But is it GOOD? DAMN GOOD? Yes!
The Offer:
Book Now For a Chance to Experience Your Best Life!
Are you ready to book this hotel?
- Indulge: Treat yourself to that massage, sip cocktails by the pool, and let the staff handle the details.
- Explore: Visit the local scene.
- Relax: Let’s be honest, you deserve it.
Don't wait. This is your escape. Book Now!
Osaka's Hidden Gem: Hiyori Hotel Near Suminoe Koen Station!
Alright, buckle up, buttercup, because here's a travel diary, not a dry itinerary, of my recent… experience… at the Holiday Inn Express London Gatwick Crawley. (By IHG, of course. Gotta remember that, right?)
The Great Gatwick Getaway (or, The One Where My Suitcase Nearly Didn't Arrive)
Day 1: Arrival, Anxiety, and the All-Important Biscuit
- 14:00 - Arrival at Gatwick South Terminal: Okay, so I thought I was arriving. Turns out, my suitcase was on a one-way trip to… somewhere in the void. Cue the internal screaming. Picture me, slightly sweaty, clutching my tiny backpack filled with essentials (and a frankly embarrassing amount of emergency chocolate), frantically filling out a lost luggage form. The airport staff, bless their hearts, were about as helpful as a screen door on a submarine. This is already going great.
- 15:30 - Shuttle to the Holiday Inn Express: The hotel shuttle. A beacon of hope amidst the chaos! Except, the driver clearly thought the speed limit was merely a suggestion. White knuckles, anyone? Arrived at the hotel in one piece, though, and that, my friends, is a win.
- 16:00 - Check-in and the Quest for Tea: The lobby was… well, it was a lobby. Standard. But the staff! Super friendly and helpful. Finally, a bright spot! Got my key card, shuffled up to my room, feeling slightly… defeated. First order of business? Tea. God, I needed tea. Strong tea.
- 16:30 - The Biscuit Revelation (and Room Inspection): The room was… functional. Clean, but with a certain… beige-ness. You know the type. BUT! On the tea tray, there was a biscuit. A humble, unassuming, buttery biscuit. And in that moment, after the airport drama and suitcase anxiety, that biscuit was pure gold. Ate it with the reverence usually reserved for a holy sacrament.
- 17:00 - Dinner at the Hotel Restaurant: I'd call the food… "hotel food". The burger tasted vaguely of sadness, but the chips were decent. Needed to wash down the airline food misery with something… and the friendly local pub with a beer was a great option.
- 18:00 - Crashing Early (Suitcase Still MIA): Honestly, I was shattered after the airport chaos. Head hit the pillow, and… zzzzzz. Praying for a miracle… and my luggage. Sleep was fitful, punctuated by dreams of lost suitcases.
Day 2: The Great British Breakfast, and the Search for… Culture?
- 07:00 - The Breakfast Buffet: A Culinary Adventure (Sort Of): Oh, the buffet. It was… an experience. The usual suspects: scrambled eggs that looked suspiciously yellow, sausages that begged for mercy, and a toaster that required a Ph.D. in toasterology to operate. But the coffee! Undrinkable!! I swear, I think it was brewed in the depths of despair. Forced myself to have a full English breakfast, just for the British experience.
- 08:30 - Luggage Update: Still nothing. The airline's website taunted me with the phrase "Tracing your bag". Tracing! Like it was a runaway puppy! Beginning to seriously contemplate buying a whole new wardrobe.
- 09:00 - The Crawley Crawl (or, "What is there to do here?") Crawley. Honestly, a place that leaves you scratching your head. Found a park. Walked around. Saw some ducks. Contemplated the meaning of life (or at least, the meaning of being stuck in Crawley). It was… an experience.
- 12:00 - Lunch. Another Restaurant, Another Beer The friendly local pub was, well, friendly and great; ordered a great sandwich and a local beer, perfect!
- 13:00 - The Afternoon: The Hotel Gym, and the Return Trip The hotel Gym! I went, and I was the only person there, but it did the trick!
Day 3: Departure (and a Glimmer of Hope)
- 07:00 - The Breakfast Buffet - Part Deux: Torture. Just torture.
- 08:00 - Check out and The Wait: It's the only thing I have to do now.
- 09:00 - Finally, a Good Goodbye! At last, I'm on my way home now!
- 10:00 - Arriving Home: And the best thing ever, my luggage was waiting at the door!
Final Thoughts:
The Holiday Inn Express Gatwick Crawley? It was… a place. A place to sleep, eat (sort of), and recover from the sheer madness of travel. Would I go back? Maybe. If my suitcase ever makes it back. But I'll definitely pack more biscuits next time. And maybe, just maybe, some decent coffee.
Cranberry Twp.'s BEST Kept Secret: Comfort Inn Revealed!
So, I'm thinking of getting a pet. Am I completely insane? Seriously, what's the initial thought process?
Oh honey, the fact you're *thinking* about it puts you ahead of like, 80% of pet owners. Seriously. The initial thought process? For me, it was a complete freaking whirlwind. Like, one minute I was scrolling Instagram, completely content, the next I was staring at a picture of a fluffy Samoyed and my brain short-circuited. "I NEED IT!" I screamed internally, followed by a panicked "But...responsibility?" Then a weird wave of nostalgia for my childhood goldfish, which, let's be honest, probably suffered a slow, silent death. This, my friend, is perfectly normal. Embrace the chaos. It's all downhill from here, in the best way possible. Just maybe, *maybe*, take a breath before you start Googling "teacup chihuahuas." Trust me.
Okay, type of pet. Dog? Cat? Hamster? Fish? A miniature horse named Princess Sparklebutt? How do you EVEN choose?!
This is where the real fun begins... and by fun, I mean mild existential dread. Look, I *thought* I was a cat person. Cool, aloof, independent. Then I saw a corgi puppy on the street and I was reduced to a blubbering mess. Corgis are basically fluffy submarines with legs, and those butts! The pure *joy* they exude is… infectious. So, I got a corgi. And yes, I now *adore* cats. But the point is, you might think you know your pet type, but life, and your heart, rarely cooperate.
**My advice?** Consider your lifestyle. Honestly. Don't get a high-energy border collie if you're a couch potato. (Unless you're *ready* to become a running, ball-throwing machine. I knew a guy who did that. He's ripped now. It worked). Think about allergies, time commitment, and your *actual* living situation. And for the love of all that is holy, don't be swayed by a cute face. (I am *still* fighting the urge to adopt a tiny, fluffy anything. It is a curse I tell you!).
**My advice?** Consider your lifestyle. Honestly. Don't get a high-energy border collie if you're a couch potato. (Unless you're *ready* to become a running, ball-throwing machine. I knew a guy who did that. He's ripped now. It worked). Think about allergies, time commitment, and your *actual* living situation. And for the love of all that is holy, don't be swayed by a cute face. (I am *still* fighting the urge to adopt a tiny, fluffy anything. It is a curse I tell you!).
Alright, I've picked a [Let's say, a Dog]! Now what? Where do I *get* them? Shelter? Breeder? Craigslist?! (Shudders)
Okay, deep breaths. This is a big one. **Shelter FIRST**. They're overflowing with amazing animals who *desperately* need homes. The heartbreak is real, but so is the reward. You'll likely save a life, and honestly, the bond you forge with a rescue animal is indescribable. They know. They *know* you saved them.
Breeds, well… this is where it gets tricky. Do your homework, people! Avoid backyard breeders and puppy mills like the plague. They're the *absolute worst*. If you *do* go with a breeder (and sometimes, for specific breeds or needs, it's a valid choice), visit the place, meet the parents, check out the living conditions. If something feels off, it probably is. Trust your gut. And Craigslist? Just don't. Unless you want a pet rabbit that secretly knows how to hack into your bank account (kidding!… mostly).
**Anecdote time!** I rescued my corgi, Winston, from a shelter. He was a nervous wreck. Scared to go outside. Wouldn't eat. Two weeks in, I was starting to question everything. I’m talking full-on, “What have I done?” panic. Then, one day, he tentatively nudged my hand with his wet nose. And I knew, right then, all the cleaning up of pee, all the sleepless nights, all the doubt… it was worth it. He’s now a complete goofball who steals socks and thinks he’s a tiny tank.
Breeds, well… this is where it gets tricky. Do your homework, people! Avoid backyard breeders and puppy mills like the plague. They're the *absolute worst*. If you *do* go with a breeder (and sometimes, for specific breeds or needs, it's a valid choice), visit the place, meet the parents, check out the living conditions. If something feels off, it probably is. Trust your gut. And Craigslist? Just don't. Unless you want a pet rabbit that secretly knows how to hack into your bank account (kidding!… mostly).
**Anecdote time!** I rescued my corgi, Winston, from a shelter. He was a nervous wreck. Scared to go outside. Wouldn't eat. Two weeks in, I was starting to question everything. I’m talking full-on, “What have I done?” panic. Then, one day, he tentatively nudged my hand with his wet nose. And I knew, right then, all the cleaning up of pee, all the sleepless nights, all the doubt… it was worth it. He’s now a complete goofball who steals socks and thinks he’s a tiny tank.
Okay, I finally brought them home! What about... the stuff? Food? Toys? Where do I even begin? It all looks so… overwhelming.
Oh, the *stuff*! This is where your bank account starts sobbing quietly. First off: food and water bowls. Obvious, I know. But the *style* of bowl is key. Do you want something boring, or something that screams, "I'm fancy and my pet is spoiled!"? (I chose the latter. No regrets.)
Then, the toys! This is where you can go *completely* bonkers. Start small. A few chew toys, a ball, maybe a squeaky thing that will drive you insane within 10 minutes. But you'll learn their preferences as you go!
And don't forget the essentials: Bed, collar, leash, poop bags (an *absolute* must, unless you want to be "that person"). Consider insurance, too, because vet bills are a beast.
**Rambling Time!** I remember the first time I bought Winston his "starter kit." I went *way* overboard. Kong toys galore! Expensive beds! A tiny sweater (which he promptly chewed into oblivion). It felt like I was equipping a small army! But you know what? I was happy. And that's the point, right?
Then, the toys! This is where you can go *completely* bonkers. Start small. A few chew toys, a ball, maybe a squeaky thing that will drive you insane within 10 minutes. But you'll learn their preferences as you go!
And don't forget the essentials: Bed, collar, leash, poop bags (an *absolute* must, unless you want to be "that person"). Consider insurance, too, because vet bills are a beast.
**Rambling Time!** I remember the first time I bought Winston his "starter kit." I went *way* overboard. Kong toys galore! Expensive beds! A tiny sweater (which he promptly chewed into oblivion). It felt like I was equipping a small army! But you know what? I was happy. And that's the point, right?
Training. Oh god, training. I'm so bad at [whatever it is the pet needs training]. But how do I even START?
Training is a *journey*, not a destination. And trust me, I'm still somewhere at the beginning of that road with Winston. Basic commands are essential, like "sit," "stay," and "leave it," not just so you can look like a skilled pet owner to your friends. Think about your new pet, and think about what they need to know to be a good member of society.
Start with positive reinforcement. Treats, praise, the works! Avoid punishment (it rarely works and can damage your bond). Be patient. Be consistent. And remember, you *will* mess up, so the pet will get it wrong the first few times. It happens to everyone! Hire a professional if you need help. Don't let pride get in the way of a well-behaved pet.
**My big screw-up: Barking** Winston is part corgi, part… something loud. He barks. A LOT. I tried everything. Treats, distractions, you name it. Nothing. It got so bad my neighbors started leaving passive-aggressive notes on my door. Now, we are working with a trainer. It's a work in progress. But lesson learned: Don't be afraid to seek help!
Start with positive reinforcement. Treats, praise, the works! Avoid punishment (it rarely works and can damage your bond). Be patient. Be consistent. And remember, you *will* mess up, so the pet will get it wrong the first few times. It happens to everyone! Hire a professional if you need help. Don't let pride get in the way of a well-behaved pet.
**My big screw-up: Barking** Winston is part corgi, part… something loud. He barks. A LOT. I tried everything. Treats, distractions, you name it. Nothing. It got so bad my neighbors started leaving passive-aggressive notes on my door. Now, we are working with a trainer. It's a work in progress. But lesson learned: Don't be afraid to seek help!
OKAY. The hard reality. The bad stuff. What about vet bills? Are they going to eat all my savings? And what about when they get older? *Sob*
Let's rip off the band-aid, shall we? Vet bills can be *astronomical*. Prepare for the unexpected. Accidents happen. Illnesses happen. Old age… well, old age is a whole other level of expensiveHotel Radar Map
