
Merrimack's BEST Hotel? Holiday Inn Express Review (You Won't Believe This!)
Merrimack's BEST Hotel? Holiday Inn Express Review (You Won't Believe This!) - A Real, Humorous Breakdown!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because I'm about to lay down the TRUTH about the Holiday Inn Express in Merrimack, NH. Forget those perfectly polished brochure descriptions. This is real life, with me, your friendly neighborhood hotel reviewer, diving headfirst into the (hopefully) clean abyss. And let me tell you, it's been… an experience.
First Impressions (and the Awkward Elevator Ride):
Landing in Merrimack, I needed a place to crash, and the Holiday Inn Express always seems to pop up. The exterior? Standard. Think beige, brick, and maybe a stray parking cone or two. Nothing to write home about initially. BUT! Let's be honest, I care more about what's INSIDE than the curb appeal.
Accessibility & Getting Around (The "Hope I Don't Need a Ramp" Reality Check):
Okay, let's get the accessibility stuff out of the way. The exterior is mostly flat, which is good. There’s an elevator, which is also good…though I swear, on my first attempt, it felt like it was going to take us to the Upside Down. I found myself drumming my fingers while I rode it, thinking, and hoping I was going to make it to my floor. I think the rooms are generally accessible, but double-check with the hotel directly if you have specific needs. The lobby, at least, seemed pretty maneuverable. I remember my friend with some leg issues had a pretty easy time.
Internet Access & Wi-Fi Shenanigans (Because We Need to Be Connected!):
Now, the internet. Yes, yes, FREE Wi-Fi in EVERY ROOM! And honestly? It was pretty decent. I streamed a movie, did some work, and generally didn't want to throw my laptop out the window in frustration. That's a win, right? They also offer Internet [LAN]. but like, who uses LAN anymore?! Probably just a bunch of nerds like me, but seriously, the Wi-Fi did a solid job.
Rooms - My Nest for the Night (and Maybe Some Regret):
So, the rooms. Let's be real. They’re… typical Holiday Inn Express. But hey, it was clean! And that's a HUGE plus in my book. The bed? Comfy enough to pass out in after a long day, but there was a moment where I wondered if it had been washed recently. A full closet, a mini-fridge, and a coffee maker that, I swear, makes the brownest, weakest coffee known to man. Seriously, I think rainwater might have more flavor. But hey, at least there's a coffee/tea maker in the room to start the day, with free bottled water.
Oh, and bonus: The rooms are soundproofed! Yay for sleeping! The blackout curtains were a godsend when I was trying to sleep off some bad decisions from the night before. Air conditioning saved me from a sweaty mess. Non-smoking rooms abound, which is good for everyone but the smokers. I had an extra long bed, perfect for my height. I did appreciate the desk, where I could hide away from the world while I worked on my laptop.
The separate shower/bathtub in my room was a welcome feature! And while I am not a big bathtub person, it was nice. The hair dryer was there, probably used by a hundred people before me. And a mirror with the lights that could really help your selfies.
Cleanliness & Safety (My Inner Germaphobe Was Mostly at Peace):
This is where the Holiday Inn Express actually shines. They seem to take cleanliness and safety seriously. There were signs EVERYWHERE advertising their anti-viral cleaning products, daily disinfection in common areas, and rooms sanitized between stays. I’m not a scientist, but I felt pretty safe. They make sure to have hand sanitizer and staff trained in safety protocols. They also offer room sanitization opt-out available, but c'mon, get with the program! Their staff is trained in safety protocol, and there are also smoke alarms for safety.
Breakfast - The Glorious, or Grotesque, Morning Meal?
Breakfast is included, which is always a win. Breakfast [buffet]! You'll find the usual suspects: Asian breakfast, Western breakfast, buffet in restaurant, and coffee/tea in restaurant. The usual spread of eggs, cereal, and maybe some sad-looking pastries. It wasn't gourmet, but it was free, and it filled me up. I'd describe it as “serviceable.” I didn’t take advantage of any breakfast takeaway service but it was available!
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking (Because Life is About Fueling Up):
There's no on-site restaurant per se (besides the breakfast area, which I already covered). You're surrounded by choices in Merrimack, but don’t expect a Michelin-star experience. They do have a snack bar. They did a good job of having all kinds of things there.
Services and Conveniences (The Little Things that Matter):
The hotel has a few perks, like a 24-hour front desk and daily housekeeping, which is always appreciated. The elevator goes up and down, and is probably essential for anyone with any kind of mobility issue. I noticed at least a convenience store. They have luggage storage, and also laundry service.
They have facilities for disabled guests, and facilities for disabled guests. Cash withdrawal at the ATM. They also have air conditioning in public area.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax (Beyond Just Sleeping - Maybe?):
Okay, here's the thing: This hotel is not a spa resort. There’s a fitness center, but I confess, I didn't use it. I was too busy eating pastries and avoiding existential dread. But, if you’re into that sort of thing, it's there.
For the Kids (Because Family Travel is a Whole Other Beast):
They have family/child-friendly facilities.
Getting Around:
Car park [free of charge]. Car park [on-site].
The Quirks, The Quirks! (My Unfiltered Opinions):
- The front desk [24-hour].
- The elevator - This is the same elevator from before.
- The non-smoking rooms.
- The security [24-hour].
The Verdict - Should YOU Stay Here?
Look, the Holiday Inn Express in Merrimack isn’t going to win any awards for design or innovation. But it's clean, reasonably priced, and the staff is generally friendly. If you're looking for a basic, reliable place to stay in Merrimack, where you can get a decent night's sleep and a free breakfast, this is a safe bet. If you’re expecting luxury? Keep moving. But for my purposes? It gets the job done. And that's sometimes all you need.
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Gastonia's BEST Kept Secret: Executive Inn Unveiled!
Okay, buckle up buttercup, because we're about to embark on a whirlwind tour of… wait for it… the Holiday Inn Express & Suites in Merrimack, New Hampshire, by IHG. Yeah, I know, sounds thrilling, right? Prepare yourself for a travel journal overflowing with the mundane, the miraculous, and the sheer, glorious what-were-we-thinking-ness of it all.
Day 1: The Arrival (and the Dreaded Breakfast)
2:00 PM: Touchdown Merrimack (ish). Okay, technically we’re still miles from the hotel, stuck behind a minivan spewing out the family's yearly vacation. The interstate is a parking lot, naturally. I’d kill for a decent cup of coffee right now. Seriously, the thought of the coffee already swirling in the hotel breakfast buffet gives me the shivers.
3:00 PM: Check-In & Initial Impressions. Finally! Found the hotel. The lobby is… what you'd expect. Clean, generic beige. The front desk person is charming, bless her heart. I told her I’d be fine with any room (I'm always saying this). Turns out it's on the 3rd Floor. Nice. I think I can reach the room, so fingers crossed. The hallways, however, are exactly what nightmares are made of. Long, carpeted, and dimly lit. Smells faintly of chlorine and…hope?
4:00 PM: The Great Unpacking Debacle. I’m not a neat packer by any stretch of imagination, and this trip is no exception. My carefully curated suitcase exploded. I'm not sure what I packed for this road trip, or in fact, the last three trips. I just needed to get my clothes on the floor to be on the safe side. You know, just in case. I have a feeling I’ll be living out of my suitcase the entire time.
5:00 PM: The Pool Debacle. Okay, so the brochure lied. I mean, it wasn't a lie, per se, but the picture was… generous. The pool is small. VERY small. And slightly green. My inner germaphobe is screaming but I can't decide whether to be disappointed or relieved. Decided to skip the pool.
6:00 PM: Dinner. Or The Quest for Edible Food. Merrimack, as it turns out, is a culinary wasteland. Or maybe I just picked the wrong place. It took me a solid hour to find a place not owned by a national chain. Finally settled on a sports bar. Food was… acceptable. I will say, the beer was cold, and that's all that matters after a long day of driving.
9:00 PM: Back to the Room. And the Netflix Abyss. Time to collapse. I'm in my pajamas, and I'm contemplating on how I'll manage to sleep. It’s a tough life. Netflix and a bag of chips is on the immediate menu.
Day 2: Adventures in Merrimack (or, You Know, the Nearby Area)
7:00 AM: The Dreaded Breakfast (Round Two). Deep breath. Here we go. I'm steeling myself. The continental breakfast battlefield awaits. Waffles? Hard pass. Instant oatmeal? Possibly. Coffee? God help us all. Okay, not the worst I've ever had. Actually, on second thought, it was awful. But by then, I was hungry so I ate it.
8:00 AM: The Gym (or the Attempt Thereof). I brought my workout clothes. I’ve worked out. A very light workout. There's a treadmill, an elliptical. The TV is tuned to some infomercial about butt implants. I give up.
10:00 AM: The Outlet Mall. The Siren Call of Bargains. Oh, the outlet mall! I LOVE outlet malls. It's like a treasure hunt, but with aggressively discounted sweaters. Found a cute bag!
1:00 PM: Lunch. The Struggle Continues. Found a Subway. Standard. The sandwich artist asked how my day was. I told him. His eyebrows shot up. I've probably said too much, but he’s earned it.
3:00 PM: Back to the room. Nap Time. Okay, this is starting to look like a routine.
6:00 PM: Dinner: Found a place with cocktails this time! The food was good. I had a martini.
9:00 PM: The Final Day: This is the last day. Why do I feel a tinge of sadness?
Day 3: Departing Merrimack (and the Hope of a Decent Coffee)
7:00 AM: The Farewell Breakfast. Same routine. The waffle irons look cleaner today, although they're still suspiciously greasy. Managed to make a passable breakfast this time. A small victory for humanity.
8:00 AM: Check Out and the Great Escape! Easy peasy. One last look around. Yeah, this place is nice. I'd stay here again, maybe.
9:00 AM: Goodbye Merrimack, Hello… Somewhere Else? I hope so. Leaving Merrimack. The open road awaits (and, hopefully, a decent cup of coffee… and maybe a nice bathroom).

Holiday Inn Express Merrimack: The Unfiltered Truth (You've Been Warned!)
Q: Is this Holiday Inn Express actually 'the best' in Merrimack?
A: Ugh... that depends. If "best" means "most aggressively average," then yeah, maybe. Look, Merrimack isn't exactly the French Riviera, alright? Let's just say expectations need to be *adjusted* accordingly. Is it the Ritz? Nope. Is it a Motel 6 with a slightly better continental breakfast? Potentially... It's... functional. That's the best I can do. Okay? Function-al. Got it?
Q: What's the deal with the breakfast? Is it worth getting up for? (And what if you're not a breakfast person?)
A: The breakfast... oh, the breakfast. It's the bread and butter of the hotel experience, isn't it? The one thing they dangle in front of you to get you out of the surprisingly comfortable bed. It's a buffet situation, so you get the usual suspects. The eggs... well, they *exist*. The sausage patties are vaguely meat-shaped. The waffles, though? Those are often the highlight. (Though, let me tell you a tragic story. One morning, I had my waffle, stacked it on my plate, all proud and ready for a delicious breakfast, and then, *WHAM*! It toppled onto the floor. Right there. I stared at it for a solid minute, considering whether to just... give up on life. In the end... I got another waffle. The struggle is real, people!). If you're not a breakfast person? You’re in luck. Go back to sleep. Seriously, indulge yourself. You deserve it.
Q: Okay, be honest: What's the room like? Is it clean? (The horror stories...)
A: Alright, alright, I’ll be real. It's *generally* clean. I mean, I didn't find any... *surprise* house guests (you know the types). It's a hotel room, so, you know, it's got a bed, a TV that *probably* works (though I didn't actually *try* it, let's be honest), and a bathroom. My biggest issue? The lighting. It was like living in a perpetual twilight. You can't *fully* tell how clean it is... it just feels... dim, if you know what I mean. And the towels... oh, the towels. Some days they were the softest things in the world. Other days? They were like sandpaper. It was a real gamble.
Q: What about the Wi-Fi situation? Cripplingly slow or surprisingly decent? Because, let's be honest, *that* matters.
A: Wi-Fi... Ah, the bane of modern existence, even in Merrimack! *I* wouldn't bet my life on it, that's for sure. It's... usually functional. You might be able to stream a video, *maybe*. Don't expect lightning-fast speeds that will change your life. Embrace the downtime. Read a book. Stare at the ceiling! Seriously, sometimes it's good to disconnect, you know?
Q: Is the staff friendly? Because a miserable front desk person can ruin everything.
A: The staff... okay, they're fine. I didn't run into any major dramas. They're certainly not the overly-enthusiastic, chirpy types, which, honestly, is *fine*. I'm a simple person who needs a clean bed, a bathroom, and access to an early morning coffee. So, yeah, they're fine. They got the job done without causing me to lose my marbles, which, in the grand scheme of things, is all I can ask for.

